"I did not choose God, He chose me” (John 15:16).

 

I had never gone to Church nor read the Bible. I was Jewish, New Age, a Professor and later a Pharisee in the Phoenix Jewish community. All of my family and friends and professional contacts were liberal Jews. From a spiritual perspective, I had done nothing right. I was running from God and especially from Jesus as fast and far as I could and ended up right in His arms. I am forever grateful for His amazing grace. Here is my story.

 

I was a History Professor at the young age of 28. I had the world by the tail, at least that I thought that I did. I published a book and numerous academic papers. I gave papers at National Conferences. I shared the stage with noted Harvard evolutionist Stephen Jay Gould. I wrote a novel, The Other World, which was a modern day fable of the Hebrew demon goddess, Lilith. It bounced around New York for years. I even did a reading of it in a loft in Greenwich Village. I knew that Stephen Spielberg’s mother had been a member of Beth Joseph Congregation in Phoenix where I attended. I tracked her down to the Milky Way Deli in LA. I sent her a letter to please tell her son about my book and how it would make a good screenplay for him. She refused. I sent it to Spielberg, anyway, to Amblin Entertainment c/o Paramount Pictures. They sent it back unopened. Thank God!

 

I was "always learning and never able to come to knowledge of the truth" (2 Timothy 3:7).

This book was the most New Age, demonic book that you could imagine. I glorified evil and Satan. I blurred the distinctions between good and evil, reality and dream and even male and female. I quoted from the supposed Gnostic lost gospels found at Nag Hammadi. I even gave to my future (now my current wife) wife Paula to read when we first met in 1987. This sweet Christian lady, had been a secretary for noted Pastor Tommy Barnett of Phoenix First Assembly Church until God moved her over to my new place of business. She had read a chapter and gave it back to me appalled! Our continued relationship and nineteen plus years of Marriage are indeed miracles. That filthy book would have scared many a Christian away for good but even when I was a nasty egotistical sinner, she still saw something in me that only God had seen.

 

"While we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

I unexpectedly had found myself working for a Christian telemarketing firm selling precious metals to Christian listeners of a radio program. Me, a Professor, later a leader in the Phoenix Jewish community selling gold over the phone. . My life had been turned upside down by the trauma of a divorce from my first wife, loss of my job in Jewish community, my children had moved to Charleston, SC, my father had died and my health had begun to falter. I went into Barrows Neurological Center in Phoenix and they found extensive brain lesions with an MRI and other tests (diagnosis-Multiple Sclerosis ) All of this, and I was now working for Christians to boot but God had a plan for my pitiful life. He had to get my attention and like Job, I had lost everything.

The staff at this new company (including my now wife Paula who was in marketing) prayed for me, my clients prayed for me. How sickingly nice, I had thought.. When my coworkers tried to preach to me I had slammed them. After all, I had not only been a Director of the Jewish National Fund, but I was also a part of the Community Relations Council in the Jewish community which investigated Christian evangelism. I had lectured at the University of Arizona on anti Semitism and the Holocaust. Who did these people think that they were? I was a typical know it all, loud mouthed, sarcastic Jew. A Jew of the Jews like Paul, a Pharisee.

I acted like Paul to these loving Christians. I flogged them with my tongue, a frequent Jewish tactic. We fight with our tongues, not our fists. That is why so many are lawyers. Two fellows at work who witnessed to me for one year straight faithfully were Philip and Chuck. One day, Philip who was a former Marine and former numbers runner in his pagan days, said that he was so frustrated arguing with me (they used to call it the Gaza Strip) that he felt like throwing me over the roof balcony. I replied, "Oh that's Christian!" They waved the Bible in my face. "Read Isaiah 53" read Psalm 22". I had sarcastically replied, "Read this!” shaking my fist! Of course I tolerated Paula's witness because she was beautiful. I tried to take her out but she said no not only because I was unsaved but because I was living with another woman. "Picky, picky", I had replied. "I can have you during the day and her at night." Paula recoiled in disgust. I was a real piece of work and we have now have been married for over 19 years. Only God could have made that happen.

One day I went to Philip's house for dinner while my new live in girlfriend, a Jewish New Ager who walked on hot coals (at least she was Jewish), was at work. After dinner, we all stood in a circle holding hands. Philip had fed me dinner so I decided to humor him (actually his love was tugging at my heart). We prayed---at least they prayed. I closed my eyes and saw an image darting across the plane of my vision. I blinked. It came back. When we were finished, Philip asked me what I had seen. I said, "Nothing". How did he know? He must have opened his eyes and seen me grimacing. He said again, "What did you see, Jew boy (that is what he called me)?" Finally I answered that, “it was stupid, "forget it".

Well Philip kept insisting. Finally, I reluctantly told him that I saw a man in a suit of armor waving his sword at a being in a monk's robe with no face. Philip's mouth fell open. He ran and got his Bible and showed me Ephesians 6:11. I did not know what he was talking about. I did not know the Bible. Things like that began to happen as the Holy Spirit was showing me the word visually.

"Put on the full armor of God that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11).

 

Not too much later, I was sitting at my desk at the office. We all had cubicles. I was trying to close a large deal (the Jews in the company hammered their clients for money while the Christians prayed with them) when an image appeared in front of me. I looked around to see if anyone else saw it. Nobody! It was Jesus on the cross. His head was down. It was night, or the sky was dark, and there was lightning all over the sky. Quite a sight for a nice Jewish, New Age, College Professor, Pharisee-type person. I was dumfounded. I told no one.

The next day, I saw another vision. This time Jesus was on the cross, but it was daylight. He lifted up His head and light poured out of His eyes. He broke the fetters and got off of the Cross. He then proceeded to walk all over the earth with the light still pouring from His eyes. Remember that I did know the Bible at that time especially the New Testament, i.e. Jesus is the light of the world!

I had told Chuck that I would not believe unless I saw the burning bush for myself figuring that it would never happen. Chuck castigated me saying that who did I think that I was that God would answer me? Scripture says that Jews seek signs. Well God was showing me! That night I had a dream that I had to die (be crucified) for all my friends to live. I anticipated the flogging on my back and the nails though my hands. It was a powerful experience which cannot truly be put into words. I knew instantly what Jesus had done for me. I awoke next to my girlfriend looking at my hands and the brand marks of Jesus (Galatians 6:17).

The next day I got on my knees and said the sinner’s prayer with Philip, Chuck, and Paula present and accepted Jesus into my life

 and later was baptized in Philip's swimming pool. He held me under the water for what seemed like minutes and when I asked him why he did that he had informed me that I had a lot of sin to wash off. Amen!

 

"For by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves. It is a gift of God not as a result of works that no one should boast. For if it is grace it is no longer on the basis of works otherwise grace is no longer grace" (Romans 11:6).

 

My Jewish sister sarcastically said that they had got me and hasn't talked to me much since. Praise God. That was on October 3, 1988. I finally moved out from my girlfriend in January of 1990 ( I know as a newborn Christian I still had my dirty diapers for a while because I was fearful of being alone with my MS even though my girlfriend told me that she would never take of me if needed!) Paula and I never dated until I moved out but we were good friends at work. We married on March 30, 1990. She is my beshert, Hebrew for  soul mate and continues to care for me as my condition has worsened. She is truly a gift from God. I had to leave the company in April of 1991. My health had begun to hamper me, but do not pity me. God all along had a plan for my life. Do I miss my former accolades and achievements? No! As Paul said I count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:8).

 I spend every day serving the Lord even though some days I cannot even walk or have blurred vision as I continue to struggle with a myriad of MS complications because Jesus has always been there for me. He has never failed me nor forsaken me. He is my Rock and my Comforter and supplies me with all my needs. When I am weak physically as Paul said, then I am strong spiritually. His grace is sufficient for me. Praise His Holy Name forever and ever! And remember

 

"The gospel which is preached by me is not according to man for I neither received it from men nor was I taught it but received it in a revelation of Jesus Christ our Lord" (Galatians 1:10-12).

 

Thus I am forever grateful that Jesus came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10) like me. I cannot believe His amazing grace towards this worthless sinner. And then I also got beautiful, loving, spirit filled,  true Proverbs 31 woman, Paula, as well. This is on one level a love story in the most fundamental sense. Jesus loves me and Paula loves me and I do not deserve either of their love. Talk about grace! But, God had a plan. All I will ever need is Jesus and Paula. Praise God!